Guns and (Briar) Roses

Chapter 6 of Peggy Orenstein's 'Cinderella Ate my Daughter'

Orenstein begins the chapter by discussing the effect of violent play on girls and the lack of research into this. It is seen that females just aren't as violent as males - which I believe to be true - but Orenstein also gives notion to the idea that we merely see what we want to see. That we would dismiss girls violence because it doesn't fit with out idea of what a girl should be. But if we truly looked, it's still there. I also found particularly interesting the concept that violent play is only beneficial to a child's development if it really is play, where they control the narratives. However, many modern violent games do not involve the child's imagination, rather simply the children copy the violent tv shows or video games and lack their own dramatic license.

Grimm's Fairytales vs. Gentler Alternatives
Now, many parents may be horrified to read the gruesome Grimm originals to their children, complete with dancing 'til death (Snow White), dismembered feet and pecked out eyes (Cinderella) or suicide (The Little Mermaid). But that may be just what children need. A platform to learn about and cope with their emotions. To recognise the evils in the world, but that those who stand fast will survive. These are, according to 'experts' such as Bettelheim, far more useful than modern stories, such as 'The Paper Bag Princess', which in Oreinstein's words "equate 'pro-girl' with 'anti-boy'". Not to mention that Grimm's version of Cinderella (Aschenputtel) is a story about the woman's strength, about her transition from girl to womanhood and that she  evades both her father and the Prince each night, until she reveals herself in rags to her Prince, as he must accept her past before he may have a future with her. Orenstein read these Grimm versions to her daughter, and found that they did not make Daisy flinch. Daisy accepted the gore, and often paused her mother to ask questions about meanings of words from this tale - e.g. 'asunder'.

Finally, Orenstein explores Twilight, Stephanie Meyer's hit sensation Vampire trilogy. While Orenstein despises the heroin, Bella, who she sees as bland, talentless, uninteresting and as a terrible role model who lives only for her man and constantly reminds him how much better he is than her. She does admit that Bella could also be exactly what girls need. An example that you don't have to be gorgeous, sexual, talented to 'get the man'. You can simply be you. If plan old Bella can do it, so can any girl. There is no pressure to sexualise yourself - Bella simply dresses in jeans and a sweatshirt, so why can't we?



Note: I often refer to the Grimm Fairytales as the originals, though I know these stories did not start here. The Grimm brothers were librarians who were able to write down old tales that had been passed on by mouth for a long time. The Grimm brothers did censor these inappropriate tales so they could be told to children, however they did not remove the violence.....merely things like incest and other sexual content.